It's done... after a year of development... it's finally done. And now for the fun part: what happened behind the scenes.

Concept:

This game stemmed from my love of organized crime and the love of my girlfriend. If you know me, you know I absolutely love gushing about anything organized crime. I've been playing through the entirety of the Yakuza series on my twitch channel and have been playing through the Mafia series as well. I wanted to finally make a game that was like a cute, cheesy mafia romance but gay.

Additionally, the game was kind of a cute little AU of me and my girlfriend. Aster is based off of me and Solana is based off my girlfriend. Our dynamics in the game were similar to our dynamics in real life as well. From puns, to Aster getting easily shy, to Solana giggling at every little thing Aster does, it was based off of us. 

Every other character are just characters that would have been a great fit in a story like this. I wanted to still keep that gritty mafia feel while it mixed with the romcom story. A gap moe story itself, if you think about it. You have the stern but caring right hand man, the mob boss that takes no shit, and the underlings that are a headache (to Nicolo) but have their heart in the right place. I even wrote a story about the previous don that will becoming out in a zine later. Keep an eye out for that!

Teamwork And What Went Wrong:

I feel like I got lucky with the members of the team. They were all so enthusiastic about the story and making the game. They all seemed thoroughly passionate about the idea and excited to work together to make something great. From music, to writing, to voice acting, it was a really fun process. I loved talking with the editor to really bring the emotions in the game to life and to stop myself from adding even more to the game. Our resident composer did an absolutely perfect job with the inspiration I gave him. 

The voice acting was so incredibly fun to do. I love voice directing and I love working with voice actors who have high energy during recording sessions. The cast was exactly that. They truly brought so much light and complexity to the characters just from their voices alone. There are several scenes that I just giggle and kick my feet to because of how good it was.

Now onto the... roadblocks.

Nothing went horrendously wrong development wise. It was almost relatively smooth. We did get ghosted by some team members which was disappointing. We were never given an explanation and it's sad their work couldn't come to fruition. It set us back a decent amount until I could find a replacement. This is, unfortunately, a big part of game jams. But the best thing to do is to keep moving forward which is exactly what we did.

The thing that did go terribly wrong was that I got broken up with. It happened right towards the end of production. We were in the final stages of getting ready to playtest the game and then... I got dumped. It did come as a complete surprise. And I did shut down. Which led me to letting the team handle the rest of production. I trusted them to get things done and they did. They were so understanding and I'll forever be grateful for that. Thank you guys <3

Writing Your Feelings:

It's a shame how I feel about this game now. I wish I could say I will look back on it fondly and reminisce. But I can't. And that hurts. I put a lot of my emotions and experiences in my writing. This game was a labor of love. The story was to show that in no matter what universe, no matter what happened, I would always love her. 

I never have looked at my own writing with such bitterness before. If something bad happened while I was writing something, it would never affect it. Sure, I would probably make it a little more angsty, but I wouldn't hate what I wrote. This is the first time I actually hate the story. I hate that it reminds me how much work I put in, how much love I expressed only for it to end up like this. I can't even look at the characters without getting emotional. And that truly breaks me. 

I love writing for people. I love giving them gifts. I love seeing them happy with the things I wrote. But I don't think I can ever do something like this as an act of love for a while. I need to heal and erase that fear of loving. I do want people to love this game. Even if I don't. I want all of you to fall in love with the story, the characters, everything. It would make this all seem worth it.

Final Words:

It was a real journey to work on this game. And although I personally want to move on from this part of my life, I hope it's something that not only the team can put on their portfolio, but something that everyone can enjoy. I won't be working on the game anymore. There may be updates from the other team members such a bug fixes.

Until next time, 

Syd